Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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