Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
