bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
