he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize