Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
