you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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