We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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