I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
