just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
