Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
