We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
