Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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