I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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