your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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