Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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