Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
pray to the hookup gods
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
