So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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