I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
