Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
should my penis look like a turkey
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You ruined the universe
Randomize
