I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize