I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
