no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
