I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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