the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
