Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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