I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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