whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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