you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
