That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im part way to drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize