the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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