they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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