come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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