he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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