shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
