They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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