we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize