How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
