she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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