My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
