Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize