I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
