Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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