I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize