a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
