OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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