Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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