So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me I should be a condom model.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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