then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
