He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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