Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
