I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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