He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
