It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
