so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
