I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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