Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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