k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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