Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
