Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
