No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
