so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I came so hard my ears popped.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
