I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
